he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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