and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Randomize
