you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
