I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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