she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
He better not be in your backpack
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
