There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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