Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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