..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
