so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
