i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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