This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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