So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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