How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
