You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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