This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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