i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
The power of my boobs compel you
I want to fling myself into the sun
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
