He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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