Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
