"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
