I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
