Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
