she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
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