"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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