What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
