You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Enjoy the penises
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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