Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
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