she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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