you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
