nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
