Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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