We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Vodka?
Forever.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
