This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
