Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
