We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
