Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
