You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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