Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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