I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Randomize
