Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
