And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
