I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
