1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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