So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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