I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
you had me at cake vodka
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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