Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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