so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
fuck your aforementioned shoe
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
