I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
