no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
