her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
