i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
