Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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